


a matter of trust

by favbbycas



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s02e13 Irresistible (X-Files), Self-Doubt, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:09:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25304314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favbbycas/pseuds/favbbycas
Summary: “It’s alright.”His voice was soft when he said that to her, and for a few moments in his arms she agreed with him.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	a matter of trust

She looks over at him from the passenger seat, his face dark except for the occasional headlights brightening his features as cars drive by. Her hands are trembling from the leftover adrenaline in her body. He’s driving them back to the hotel, he knows better than to ask her to get checked over again. It’s true what they say about doctors being the patient. Giving a statement after crying in her partner's arms was enough for her tonight, besides he does trust her to be honest with him if she had any serious injuries from the wreck.

_ “It’s alright.” _

His voice was soft when he said that to her, and for a few moments in his arms she agreed with him. He found her, she was alive and it was alright because Mulder was here. The relief she felt upon seeing his face as he helped her up was nothing like she had felt before. But here she was, not alright, staring forward at the dark road in front of them, and part of her wanted to get back to the hotel and take a hot shower. She wants to collapse into bed and gaze at the tv until her mind goes numb. She wants to punch someone and scream into a pillow. A part of her never wants this car ride to end, because that means saying goodnight to Mulder. Right now, the idea not being with him unsettles her more than she’d like to admit. She hears his voice before she registers that they are pulling off the road and their hotel parking lot.

“Hey, Scully? We’re here.” he says, glancing at her with concern as he parks the car.

“Thanks for driving.” Is all she can think of to say.

“Sure Scully.” 

He knows better than to ask if she’s okay. She gets out of the car and waits just long enough for him to do the same before she’s walking toward their rooms. He follows diligently, and as she stops at her door she turns to meet his eyes for the first time since they left for the hotel.

“Thank you, Mulder, for finding me.” her eyes are a little red, her voice quiet but sincere. 

“Always, and if you need anything you know where to find me” he gives her a small smile, his hands aching to hold her, comfort her. 

They go into their separate rooms, and now that she’s alone the day’s events hit her like a freight train. She holds her hands over her eyes and with her back pressed against the door she tells herself to breathe, she is okay, she is safe. After a few heaving breaths she refuses to allow become sobs, she marches toward the bathroom desperate to rinse this awful day down the drain. 

Her thoughts go to the cold bath Pfaster had prepared for her. The water turns her skin bright red and the little hotel fan cannot keep up with the steam. She doesn’t know how long she showers, but eventually she must give in and allow her body to rest, exhausted. She gets dressed and combs her hair, puts lotion on her face and brushes her teeth. She goes through the motions of her routine, refusing to be still and be unoccupied with something for as long as possible. Her mind is still racing, going over what could have happened if Mulder hadn’t arrived when he did. She would like to believe that she would have survived, because she did have the upper hand, but doubt creeps in the back of her mind.

Her faith that she is capable of protecting others and herself is faltering. She sits on the bed for a moment, in the dim glow of her hotel room the silence becomes deafening. She is officially out of things to do, her laptop mocking her from the small desk across the room. She cannot write a report when her mind is overwhelmed with a sea of ‘what ifs’ and fears. She cannot put into words what she has been through. Not yet.

The image of Pfasters face, his morphing form creeping closer blooms in her mind. Mudler’s face as he helped her onto her feet is there, a bright spot in the memories of tonight that she knows will continue to haunt her for an unknown amount of time. Her hands are shaky again, and suddenly she feels so alone it hurts, like an aching wound deep in her chest. Before she knows what she’s doing, she finds herself slipping on her trainers and stepping out into the hotel hallway. With a deep breath she closes the door behind her. She decides to follow the part of herself that needs him close. She needs to see his face again, and maybe his light will guide her away from the murkiest parts of herself.

Her footsteps are faint as she walks up to Mulder's door. Her heart is racing as she stops, wondering how a door could feel so intimidating, almost looming over her as her hand curls into a loose fist as she raises it to knock. It only takes two raps of her knuckles before he is there, his door open and his eyes a little wide. There is relief as he looks at her, with a soft expression that feels like it's meant for her. 

“Scully?” he says, his tone worried as he looks at his partner.

“Hi Mulder.” 

“Here for a little-oof!” He says, getting cut off as Scully’s sudden hug surprises him.

She quickly steps back and apologizes, the loss of her warmth in his arms doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I’m so sorry, I don't know what came over me..”

“It’s okay Scully, come on, come inside.” he says to her, as reassuring as he can.

The door shuts behind her as they step into his room, it was clear he hadn’t done any resting since they got back. Mulder is still dressed in his suit, minus the jacket and tie, his desk is littered with papers she assumes have to do with the case. Now she is standing in his room, where she needed to be, and he is quiet. Looking down at her to try to catch her eye. She is studying the pattern on the carpet and trying to find out where to start. She wants to give him some explanation as to why she knocked on his door. Why she’s here, in his room so late unable to meet his gaze.

She sees him shift to the bed, and have a seat. He is giving her space, she knows. A moment to collect herself. 

“Mulder I-” she pauses and looks up at him, his eyes meeting hers and she can feel the understanding there in him. He knows, he knows that this case was bothering her. He knows that these last few months have been the most difficult of her life. How could she have doubted that? She trusts him with her life, maybe it's time to start trusting him with some of her fears too. 

“Mulder, I don’t want to be alone.” she says quietly.

“You won’t be, unless you tell me to go.” he replies, a gentle smile on his face.

She goes to join him on the bed, and once she is sitting next to him he puts an arm around her and squeezes her softly. She rests her head on his shoulder and feels safer than she has in a long time. 

“It’s alright, Scully.” 

This time she knows it will be. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> my current x files rewatch inspired me a lot, thanks for reading :-)


End file.
